Blooming Page 2

  This was not good, not good at all and was he flirting with her? She never was any good at telling, and why would he? It didn’t matter anyway she wasn’t interested, maybe interested wasn’t the word - more like impossibly unable.

  Todd gave her a little closer scrutiny, her brain was running riot he could tell. Dark hair wet from the shower hung to her lower back and was sorely in need of a good cut. Her skin was whiter than pale apart from the cute flush staining her cheeks, which seemed to slowly spread down her face and neck into the top of a very unflattering sweatshirt.

  Jen gave herself a subconscious kick as he hauled himself up from the box, “by the way that dent in it isn’t from my ass, it’s from your head, but I think most of the contents survived.”

  “Thank you I guess, I seem to keep saying that,” she wouldn’t look him in the eye; he was far too much of everything too tall, too broad, too close.

  “Are you going to let me through so I can bring it in for you?” he stepped forward lifting the box to his waist.

  “No, I got it,” she jerked the box out of his hands blocking herself from his further scrutiny and once again he found himself on the receiving end of a slammed door.

  On the other side Jen slid down to the floor, sick to her stomach, she couldn’t have chosen a worse set-up and worse still she couldn’t afford to move again so soon, she was going to have to tough it out.

  Resentment pooled in her stomach alongside a little frisson of interest, she wasn’t completely immune to an attractive man. He stood more than a clear foot taller than her and had a killer face. Strong and animated, the beautiful piercing green eyes, a thick head of straight dark brown hair, good bones and skin, a gentle cleft to his chin. He seemed to smile easily and often, giving him an overall aura of strength and kindness.

  It was no good though she’d tried before and only hurt people’s feelings and left herself humiliated and frustrated.

  This man was confident in his own skin and would expect the same of others, something she just couldn’t give. So it was to Jen’s relief that the next few days went by in blessed solitude. She’d managed to finish unpacking all the boxes, and the apartment was starting to take shape. It would be some weeks yet before she felt secure enough to call it home, and she was still perturbed about the encounter with Todd and Lily, but she had also got two new sites up and running for customers and the promise of more work to come via word of mouth.

  She’d found a nearby grocer who offered online shopping and home delivery, and a coffee shop she had braved once and intended to go back to, if only as her own self imposed form of therapy.

  Jen coped with a walk round the block or a trip to the market as she would a challenge to be completed and only did so in an attempt to prove that she still had one foot in the world. Although she had to admit that the fact her body language screamed stay away, and she only interacted with other people when absolutely necessary, kind of made it only about a 50 percent success at any given time.

  She didn’t really know at what point her problem had become so bad. When she’d been younger and going through therapy, the idea that there would be a life changing event that corrected everything had still been a possibility, something to cling on to. But the older she’d gotten and the more life seemed determined to kick her in the teeth, she’d become disillusioned and stopped believing a better life was possible.

  Four years ago when she’d finally seized on the website course as a means to making a career she could cope with, it also gave her the perfect excuse to withdraw further from the world and most of the time she thought little about committing to a life alone. Alone was safer - more manageable.

  Of course the more withdrawn she’d become the harder it had become to deal with people when she absolutely had to. Although she still made minimal efforts to look ok with a little make up and taking care of her skin, she had no real interest in clothes or shopping because she didn’t like to linger anywhere. And also because she didn’t try to attract any attention to herself - in general she didn’t.

  The stupid thing was no matter how invisible she succeeded in making herself, Jen always felt like she walked around with a blazing spotlight over her head which advertised, “Look at the weirdo!”

  Meeting Todd had forced a flashback to the two occasions she’d talked herself into acting on a physical attraction. The awkward first dates when she had to pretend to be normal, the crippling nausea that came when they called her the next day, then sitting by the phone - not answering, until they didn’t bother calling again.

  A few years back, she’d enjoyed flirting occasionally and to the world she probably looked confident enough, but the setbacks she’d experienced when she found herself unable to follow through had led her to give up on the idea of a relationship entirely.

  As Jen pulled herself out of her funk, she brought her focus back to her computer and continued cropping and editing her client’s product shots, playing with different layouts and graphics to make them pop on screen.

  She didn’t hear the first knock on the door, the second one she ignored, but the third she knew indicated intent to continue.

  Drawing on courage brought from pure annoyance she went to the door and opened it.

  Chapter 2

  Confusion over her own slight disappointment when it was Lily standing there and not Todd, threw her for a second.

  “Hi Jen,” god Lily was so bright and shiny it almost hurt Jen to look at her. “I wanted to give you a couple of days to settle in before I sprung a welcome to the building dinner on you.”

  “That’s really not necessary; you were kind to me the other day, that’s enough.” Panic had sent her voice an octave higher than normal.

  Lily ducked her blonde head to meet Jen’s eye, “I have a confession to make, I knew you were up here and figured you’d probably be done with work for the day – dinner’s almost ready so I won’t take no for an answer!”

  Jen considered for a long second whether Lily would take “fuck off” for an answer, but realised she was neither heartless nor brave enough to suggest it.

  “Fine,” she said trying her hardest to sound gracious. “I’ll need twenty minutes though to freshen up, and then I’ll come down.”

  “Great it’s just me, Todd, and the third floor guys who are a gay couple and really good fun. Up until you came I was using them as my surrogate girlfriends!”

  As Jen’s jaw dropped open Lily stepped back and gave a cheery wave, “See you in a bit.”

  In a panic Jen shut the door fast, just catching herself before it slammed too hard, “fucking doodly fuck,” she cursed softly, what was she going to do now?

  Running to the kitchen she grabbed a glass, and cracked open the first bottle of wine she put her hand to, pouring a generous glass.

  With the first gulp she swallowed double the dose of herbal calming tablets, the ones that never seemed to do a thing for her. She finished the wine and took a second glass into the bathroom with her while she quickly showered. There wasn’t time to wash her hair so she scraped it up in a bun on top of her head.

  Reeling a bit at trying to make herself look decent in record time, she slapped on a little tinted moisturiser and blush, mascara on her lashes, which she thought were her best feature, and a bit of lip balm on her lips.

  She scrutinized herself in the mirror, not too shabby. Jen knew she wasn’t hideously ugly but she wasn’t eye catching, thank god. Throwing the closet open, the easiest clothes to throw on were a new white t shirt and clean jeans. Luckily by the time she was ready the wine was starting to kick in, which got her out of her front door and down the stairs before she had time to think it through.

  Jen drew a deep breath outside their apartment; she felt a bit woozy and tried to remember if she’d eaten at all that day. She’d been on a bit of a work buzz and sometimes it was too much of a pain to stop and eat.

  She raised her hand and gave a timid knock, and then knocked more firmly, loud enough so it was actually audible
this time.

  The door opened inward and Jen’s heart thumped louder; Todd was standing in front of her looking even better than she remembered. Taking him in and comparing him to her own size she figured he had to be about 6ft 3 or 4. He was dressed casually too, dark jeans and a thick well worn leather belt with a big brushed chrome buckle, a v neck black t shirt clung lovingly to his chest and biceps and showed a delicious shadow of dark brown chest hair.

  Looking down afraid to be caught staring she noticed his large feet were bare and with a flush she remembered what they say about men with large feet, which in turn brought her eyes up to involuntarily scrutinize the area of his belt buckle.

  “Hello Jennifer – feeling better?” he asked warmly. Stepping forward he pulled her in for a hug, leant back and lifted her almost off her feet before setting her back down quickly. He released her before she had time to react in fear.

  “Please come in – sorry that was a bit over familiar. I don’t know what it is but when I see you I just want to scoop you up each time. You’re just a little poppet.”

  Not sure quite what the correct response to that statement was, she squeaked out a hello and practically fell inside.

  Todd closed it behind them and put his hand to the back of her, guiding her into the room. “Come meet Sean and Sebastian – they live on the top floor.”

  “Obviously Todd this is a three story building,” quipped Sean, warmly taking Jen’s hand in both of his.

  Sean was slightly taller than her but only by a couple of inches, he wore his dark hair close cropped and his jet black eyes twinkled with barely suppressed energy, his skin was Mediterranean golden. Jen was immediately wary of his confident clipped sarcasm.

  “Wow Lily I see what you mean,” he lifted Jen’s right hand above her head and guided her into doing a twirl.

  “Look at you darling.”

  “What do you mean look at me?” she stammered trying to snatch her hand back unsuccessfully.

  Another man she’d not spotted before got up from the couch. He was nearly as tall as Todd and looked like a gorgeous blond Greek god, but in that kind of a way that you knew he couldn’t possibly be straight, he was far too glamorous.

  “Forgive my lesser half,” he smiled at her, his soft blue eyes crinkling at the corners as he offered his hand. “I’m Sebastian, and Sean here always shoots first and responds to questions later.”

  Lily came through from the kitchen, “Jen!” she trilled, “I have another confession to make about inviting you to dinner. “Sean majored in fashion and is starting his own clothing line for petite women, and he’s been brooding for ages looking for a muse to inspire him. He says I’m too tall and too dizzy to be of any use.”

  Jen stood there silently, feeling like the only person in the twilight zone that wasn’t clued in, and looked from one to the other of them.

  Sean spoke drawing her attention back to him, “You just might have something here Lily, and I do not brood I just occasionally pout.” Taking Jen by the shoulders he shamelessly looked her up and down, “for a small woman your proportions are perfect.”

  “What?”

  “Well look at you honey,” the swarthy little man said. “You are a perfect hour glass with a defined waist; breasts and hips that are not big, but definitely not scrawny, and your legs again for a small person are of a good length, and those shoulders nicely balance out the width of your hips. You are absolutely intriguing.”

  Sean tapped his fingers to his lips, “Yes you might just have muse potential. Of course, a muse in need of a full body makeover, but I have a good feeling about this, hmm.” He jiggled off to recover his wine glass, humming happily to himself.

  Todd looked Jen over. She was stood in his living room, her mouth opening and shutting like a goldfish, and swaying on the spot. With her tatty dark hair piled up on her head like that, the line of her jaw and long neck were revealed and he was struck by her fragility. She had that fight or flight look on her face again, and he didn’t want her to be forced to embarrass herself in order to make a quick getaway.

  Gently taking her elbow, he guided her into a comfy chair and plied her with a large glass of wine, which she grabbed from him and took a huge gulp.

  “Back up Sean,” Todd grumbled, “Jen’s hardly settled in yet give her some space, and there’s nothing wrong with the way that she looks.”

  “Oh Todd, you are a gentleman, but it’s quite obvious Jen is in need of a little TLC, mainly her hair which is a nightmare. The rest only needs some minor tweaks here and there.”

  As they continued to speak about her as if she was invisible, Jen found herself quietly seething, she had not asked any of these people to butt into her life and here they were discussing her as if she were their commodity to be traded. It didn’t help that she seemed incapable of stringing together two words to extricate herself, and the addition of a third glass of wine was starting to make the room swim slightly.

  Eyes drifting she realised that she might be able to survive this dinner simply because between all these large characters she wasn’t needed to speak much at all.

  “Dinners ready,” Lily called and they all went through and sat at the small dining table set up in the kitchen.

  Todd sat himself in the seat next to Jen so that he could better study her. The table was fairly small which meant they were all in close proximity, and everybody’s knees were bumping as they talked and gesticulated.

  As everyone except Jen ate their pasta with obvious relish, Todd became aware that she found it easier to speak when addressed by Sean and Sebastian, and that when he asked her anything she flushed and struggled to reply. This intrigued him deeply but also scared the hell out of him, because he could see that if he followed this strange instinct to pursue her she was not going to make it easy for him.

  There was something off about her. She was afraid of him and he didn’t like that at all. But he could also tell she found him attractive. Teasing Jen by forcing her to look him right in the eye when he addressed her, he allowed his leg to brush against hers with more intent and regularity than his other leg which was next to Sean’s.

  Jen, for her part, was in hell. She felt her skin must be glowing like a tomato. Ok she was an emotional dummy, but her body and brain was intensely aware that what Todd was doing was not innocent and she was both excited and petrified by it.

  “So Jen what do you say? When you have some free time will you come upstairs for me? Obviously I’m not interested in you as a photographic model but I would love for you to be a fit model for me, and let me use your body as an inspiration for some designs.”

  Jen didn’t know where to put herself, and was surprised when Todd spoke up for her with a rueful smile. “Sean please behave yourself. Jen has her own business to run and I doubt you’re willing to pay for her time until you get some decent commissions. I’m sure she’ll think about it, but don’t harass her anymore. And what do you mean you couldn’t use her as a photographic model? She’s definitely pretty enough.”

  Jen shot up and excused herself to use the bathroom, she couldn’t take much more of this scrutiny, and the idea of stripping off for somebody, even if they were gay, had sent her into a tailspin. She also was starting to feel decidedly sleepy and wasn’t sure if she would be allowed to leave before suffering through coffee and dessert.

  She left the bathroom and found them still arguing about it in a good natured fashion.

  “Here she is; Todd has insisted I apologize for my rudeness,” Sean laughed waving his fork at her.

  “That’s ok, I’m just surprised that’s all. Nobody has ever told me I had anything going for me before, so really I should be flattered.” Oops did that just really come out of her mouth?

  The four at the table looked at her in shock. Lily was the first to recover. ”Jen you’re lovely, that’s why I thought of you for Sean straight away.”

  “Anyway it’s beside the point, I’m very busy at the moment so I don’t think I can be available for you,
I have to work all the hours I can while I’m still getting established.”

  She plonked herself back down at the table, steam fairly coming off her in waves. Somebody had filled her glass again and she tossed some more down her throat and felt herself smiling woozily.

  About ten minutes later she realised that she hadn’t heard what anybody had said for a while, and that she was slumped on Todd’s shoulder. Her open mouth had left a little trail on the sleeve hugging his tight bicep, she looked at it and giggled.

  “I think I drooled on you.”

  Todd looked down and laughed into her eyes, his green eyes sizzled, “no problem sugar I was enjoying the attention.”

  She giggled again and snuggled back against him and began snoring softly. When it was clear she was out for the count, he tucked her under his arm and pulled her in to his chest to support her better.

  They all lowered their voices, “Todd, where did your agent find this girl she’s a bit of an enigma,” this came from Sebastian. “Hardly tells us a thing about herself all evening, but even so she’s utterly charming.”

  Sean fluttered his lashes at Todd, “Seb darling don’t encourage him, given his penchant for falling for difficult women in need of a big strapping man to lean on. Don’t you remember the last debacle – too needy altogether and a fortune hunter to boot?”

  He turned his attention back to Todd, “why not date a regular girl for a change? This girl’s gun-shy; she’ll make your life hell.”

  Todd tensed ready to tear a strip off Sean for bringing up a forbidden topic but Lily interrupted, “There’s no such thing as a regular girl, the three of you can behave, I don’t want you scaring her off. Give her some time, she’s obviously got some kind of past and I probably haven’t helped encouraging you Sean, but she’s nice and seems a quiet tenant. Plus it’s really nice for me to have another girl around.”